Leading from the inside out

Emotional intelligence as an essential leadership quality.

Author Maria Noone.

Emotional Intelligence has long been researched with various tools and methods developed to support organisations to apply it to real-world use. It involves understanding ourselves and others in a social context in such a way that it enables us to detect nuances in emotional reactions and apply this knowledge to influence by regulating emotions and responses. Having emotional intelligence is a high predictor of future success in life and in leadership, and therefore is a valuable capability to have for the workplace. It is also an ever-evolving field with new perspectives emerging.  

Effective relational leaders have qualities such as a knowledge and insight of themselves, an ability to lead with flexibility, an understanding of what motivates and drives them, an awareness and empathy for others, and a range of skills to relate. These qualities culminate in emotional intelligence, “The capacity to be aware of, regulate, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships with empathy and care.” (Goleman, D. 2000).

Five social and emotional competencies of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence can be divided into five social and emotional competencies to help understand it.

• Self-awareness: A person has an awareness of their internal states, strengths, areas for improvement, limitations and boundaries, self-confidence levels, sense of self-worth, self-belief, and being able to make accurate self-assessments within a variety of contexts.

• Self-regulation: Having the ability to adapt and flex oneself to situations and people. They must be able to manage those matters identified by their self-awareness. Self-regulation is needed so that conscious choices are made on how to respond and behave as opposed to being reactive.

• Motivations: To know what motivates and drives us in work and life. A certain level of achievement drive exists to complete the goals, plans and tasks we set, and have the emotional tendencies that facilitate that happening. That initiative and optimism exist.

• Empathy: To be aware of others' mental or emotional states. The ability to develop others because of an awareness of their skills and needs is noted. Having an orientation towards others exists. Be present and listen with openness to others, their context or situation. Have cultural awareness and be considerate of diversity. Be empathetic towards a wide range of people.

• Social skills: Adeptness to inducing desired responses from others. To be able to influence. Those skills are required for dealing well with debate and conflict. Be able to elicit desired states in others. Ability to connect and be relational with others. To build relationships, collaborate and be inclusive of communities and stakeholders. 

  
  

Developing emotional intelligence

Developing emotional intelligence always requires a certain amount of self-challenge and stepping outside of areas of comfort, and always requires that leaders examine themselves first and foremost. Developing emotional intelligence is not a short-term task; it’s an ongoing commitment. 

1. Expectations and capacity Pay attention to your expectations of yourself; of others and the environments you are in most often. Notice whether your expectations match the results being produced. If there are gaps between your expectations and the results being produced, then reviewing the expectations and/or the capacity (skills, desire, time, resources) to deliver on those expectations will be critical.     

2. Discover blind spots A blind spot exists when individuals lack insight about a specific area of their behaviour or those of others. Emotions, incentives, and perceptions play a role in creating and sustaining blind spots that cloud judgment and decision-making. “Blind spots can hinder the ability to see what is occurring, leading to a lack of accurate knowledge and fuelling interpersonal conflict.” (DeWall, C. 2023). Discovering blind spots requires time, asking for and listening to feedback, having open kōrero, looking for examples and consistencies in feedback which should be solicited from a wide group of individuals, not just those we feel comfortable with. Furthering education.

3. Identify your leadership stress points A leadership stress point is similar to an emotional trigger but is specifically related to leadership situations. These triggers can provoke a stress response, requiring considerable focus, energy, or time to address effectively. In some cases, there may be little resolution, leading to procrastination instead of resolving the issue. Becoming aware of your stress points is an important first step. Take note of how you feel and how you respond to these triggers. Compile a few strategies to relieve yourself of the stress while working through the matter. Seek input and assistance from a trusted person/mentor who can help you evaluate and address the issue rationally.

4. Continual growth Through the practice of continual learning, experience growth. Growth is a holistic, dynamic, gradual and well-being enhancing process. That requires individuals to “have self-awareness, an openness to explore and change, existential courage, autonomy, personal responsibility, self-compassion, and compassion.” (Mauer et al., 2023). Being prepared to shift from areas of comfort and what we believe we know to work through challenges and fears and come through those experiences with new insight. This insight can provide new understanding and shift how a person thinks, feels and behaves.

5. Explore what motivates, drives and inspires  Spend time reflecting and paying attention to what excites you and doesn’t. What brings positive energy and focus to your well-being, and what causes you to feel flat or unengaged? Find ways to start including activities, goals, and interests that support you in having a bounce in your day.  

6. Develop courage All people need a certain level of courage to get by in life. The ability to take a risk or leap of faith without knowing the outcome. Meaning the risk could end favourably and accept that there could be discomfort or pain if it does not. “It means showing up and letting yourself be seen despite the risk.” Renee, B. (2017).   

7. Enhance relational skills In leadership, there are always lessons to learn about collaborating with and leading others, particularly in building relationships. Choose one specific area where you want to improve and focus on it for a series of months. This approach will help you notice a significant change in your competence and confidence over time.

Leadership involves influencing others, while self-leadership focuses on intimately understanding all aspects of oneself and guiding oneself through various situations. It requires actively cultivating a confident sense of identity, taking ownership of your actions, and being intentional about your direction. Self-leadership offers several benefits:

• It lays a foundation for achieving personal and professional goals

• It enables individuals to set clear and healthy boundaries in both personal and workplace contexts

• It enhances stress management and builds resilience.

• It fosters development and flexibility, which are closely linked to leadership maturity.

• It allows leaders to effectively manage and guide others, starting with successfully leading themselves.

By practising self-leadership, individuals take authority into their own hands, becoming proactive and effective in their actions and behaviours rather than relying on others. This approach promotes a better understanding of personal challenges, encourages self-growth, and enhances the ability to lead oneself both professionally and in life.